Well, here we are. Halloween has arrived, which means costumes, candy, excited children, and parents who are probably wondering how much sugar one little person can consume before bedtime. It also means that tomorrow morning, November 1, most of us here in Ontario will wake up with something we are constantly wishing we had more of. Time.
At 2 a.m. Sunday morning, our clocks will go back one hour, giving us an extra hour overnight. I do not know about you, but an extra hour sounds pretty wonderful to me. Between work, family, running a business, and all the other things that seem to find their way onto my never-ending to-do list, I often wish there were a few more hours in the day.
But it got me thinking about what I am actually going to do with that extra hour. Will I sleep in, get up and start doing things around the house, or sit with a hot cup of coffee and enjoy a little peace and quiet before the day gets going? The funny thing is, even when we are handed an extra hour, so many of us immediately start thinking about how we can use it to get something done. There is always another load of laundry, an email to answer, or something on the list that we have been meaning to tackle.
I see this in my work as a psychotherapist, and if I am being fair, I recognize it in myself too. We are very good at keeping busy, but we are not always nearly as good at resting. Somewhere along the way, we have convinced ourselves that rest needs to be earned, that slowing down is unproductive, and that there is always something more important we should be doing. Yet one of the most important things we can do for our physical and mental health requires us to do absolutely nothing. Sleep.
Why Does Sleep Matter So Much?
I often talk with clients about the relationship between sleep and mental health. When someone is struggling with anxiety, depression, stress, or feeling completely overwhelmed, one of the things I am interested in understanding is how they are sleeping. I am not just asking how many hours they spend in bed, but whether they are actually sleeping, whether they wake feeling rested, and whether their mind decides that 3 a.m. is the perfect time to revisit every embarrassing thing they have said since 1997. Because apparently, our brains have a wonderful sense of timing.
When we don’t get enough sleep, everything becomes harder. We have less patience, our emotions can feel bigger, and even the smallest inconvenience can send us over the edge. Have you ever noticed how something that would not normally bother you can feel absolutely unbearable when you are exhausted? Someone leaves their dishes on the counter, the dog starts barking, or you cannot find your keys, and suddenly you are questioning every life decision you have ever made.
Sometimes the problem is not the dishes, the dog, or the keys. Sometimes you are just really, really tired. Sleep helps us regulate our emotions, process information, manage stress, and maintain our physical health. Most adults need at least seven hours each night, although our individual needs vary. Unfortunately, many of us get nowhere near that, and even when we do manage to get to bed at a reasonable hour, our sleep quality isn’t always great.
So, What Exactly Is Good Sleep Hygiene?
First, sleep hygiene has nothing to do with how often you wash your sheets, although I certainly encourage that too. Sleep hygiene is simply a term for the habits and routines that help us get a good night's sleep. While none of these suggestions are particularly complicated, I think we can all agree that knowing what we should do and actually doing it are two very different things.
One of the best things we can do is try to go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time each day. Our bodies like routine, even when we do not. Maintaining a consistent schedule helps regulate our internal clock and makes it easier to fall asleep and wake up naturally. Yes, even on weekends, although I appreciate that sleeping in on a Saturday morning can feel like one of life's greatest pleasures.
We also need to give ourselves time to wind down. Think about the effort we put into getting young children ready for bed. We create routines, lower the lights, read stories, and help them settle. Then, as adults, we spend our evenings answering emails, watching television, scrolling through our phones, and wondering why we cannot fall asleep five minutes after turning off the lights. Perhaps we could learn something from those bedtime routines we worked so hard to establish for our children.
Try giving yourself 30 minutes before bed to slow things down. Read a book, take a warm shower, listen to music, or simply enjoy a little quiet. Putting your phone away would probably help too, although I realize that is asking a lot when there are apparently very important things happening on Facebook that require our immediate attention. Creating a little separation between the busyness of the day and bedtime gives our minds an opportunity to settle.
Our sleeping environment matters as well. A cool, dark, quiet bedroom can make a real difference, as can paying attention to caffeine later in the day. While a glass of wine might make us feel sleepy, alcohol can actually interfere with the quality of our sleep. Getting outside during daylight hours and moving our bodies regularly can also help, whether that means going for a walk, spending some time outdoors, or simply getting away from our desks for a little while.
What About the Clocks Going Back?
As much as I love the idea of an extra hour, the time change is not always as wonderful as it sounds. Our bodies have internal clocks, and changing the time can throw those rhythms off for a few days. You might find yourself tired earlier in the evening, waking before your alarm, or feeling a little out of sorts. Then there is the fact that it will start getting dark earlier, and I do not know about you, but looking outside at 5:30 in the afternoon and feeling like it is bedtime is not exactly my favourite part of November.
For some people, shorter days and less daylight can affect their mood, motivation, and energy. This is particularly important for anyone who already notices changes in their mental health during the fall and winter months. Getting outside during daylight hours, maintaining routines, and being mindful of how you feel can help make the transition a little easier. And if you need a few days to adjust, that is perfectly okay.
What Will You Do With Your Extra Hour?
I keep coming back to this question because I think it says something about the way many of us live. We are constantly trying to find more time for our families, our work, our responsibilities, and everything else that fills our days. If there is anything left over, we might consider taking a little time for ourselves. But what if we stopped looking at rest as something that comes after everything else?
I will be the first to admit that I am not always particularly good at this. I enjoy being busy; I love what I do, and something always seems to need my attention. But I am also learning that just because I have time to do something does not mean I need to fill that time doing it. Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is give ourselves permission to slow down.
Maybe that extra hour tomorrow is an opportunity to practise what I often encourage my clients to do. Slow down, check in with ourselves, and recognize what we actually need. Perhaps you need an extra hour of sleep, a quiet coffee, a good book, a leisurely walk, or time with someone you love. Maybe you just want to stay in your pyjamas a little longer and enjoy the fact that nobody needs anything from you at that particular moment.
And if you are a parent whose children wake up at exactly the same time regardless of what the clock says, I realize your experience of this so-called extra hour might look a little different. I sympathize, and I hope there is coffee. Sometimes the extra hour we were promised does not quite work out the way we imagined, especially when little ones are involved. The good news is that taking a few moments for ourselves still counts, even when an entire hour is not an option.
So tonight, once the Halloween festivities have wrapped up, the costumes are put away, and you have completed the very important parental duty of checking the candy for quality control purposes, remember that the clocks go back. Tomorrow morning, instead of immediately thinking about everything you could accomplish with that extra hour, ask yourself what you might actually enjoy doing with it. Rest is not laziness, sleep is not wasted time, and taking care of yourself is not selfish.
As for me, I am hoping for a hot coffee, a little peace and quiet, and perhaps a few extra minutes of doing absolutely nothing. Although, knowing me, I might need to remind myself that doing nothing is perfectly acceptable too. Whatever you choose to do with your extra hour, I hope you give yourself permission to enjoy it without feeling guilty.
Happy Halloween, everyone, and enjoy your extra hour. You deserve it.